Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Courtship, dating, romance etc. etc.

This is a topic that can push people's buttons - oh my! It is also a topic that, as Christian parents, we need to be educated on. Coming from a non-christian home, it was never a concern as I was growing up. My parents liked to meet the boys that I dated, but that was pretty much it. Everyone dated, after all that was how you got to know someone and have fun. How else were you supposed to find your future husband or wife? It wasn't until our oldest child was of school age that we were made aware that there were "other" options. I was told that there was courtship, although I really didn't have a good grasp on what that was, my curiousity was triggered. Then someone told me about Josh Harris' book entitled I Kissed Dating Goodbye. This book got me to think a bit differently about the whole relationship thing, especially where teens are concerned. I was convinced by my experiences in my young life that dating was not the way to go for our children . . but how to proceed? I must admit that this is still a concern in the back of my mind. We have a grown daughter who read Josh's book and then went to a class at a homeschool convention and heard Leslie and Eric Ludy speak on letting God Write Your Love Story. She got their book and really enjoyed it - she is completely convinced that she wants to let God write her love story. Well, now we have a 15 year old son and he has asked questions like, "If you don't date, how will you ever get a wife/husband?" This has caused me to revisit this whole subject - I wanted to find an appropriate book for him to read this year. I had hoped to wait until he got a bit older because I didn't want to put thoughts of romance into his head. Unfortunately, he has had friends around him who have been allowed to have girlfriends and even go on "unofficial" dates. Thus my feeling the need to deal with this topic soon.

There are so many books out there on the topic of courtship, written by different kinds of people from different perspectives. Some that I have read in the past include: Her Hand in Marriage, by Douglas Wilson; Of Knights and Fair Maidens, by Jeff and Daniel Myers, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, by Josh Harris; When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy; and most recently, Best Friends for Life, by Michael and Judy Phillips.

In my quest to find the right book for my son, I reread I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Josh Harris. I think Josh did a good job on this book even though he was young when he wrote it. He shared from the heart and from his experiences and those of people around him. It is a good book for young people trying to sort out this topic and I think they can relate to him because of his young perspective. I had pretty much decided on using this book until I found Best Friends for Life. Of all of the books I have read on this topic, this one seems to be the most mature - but yet the least likely to make your teen curious about things they aren't ready for. The authors wrote the book to both parents and teens. They emphasize parent/teen partnering and trust. Some of the topics included in the book are Teen Romance Mentality, choosing Friends of Character, Many Methods - From Dating to Arranged marriages and blendings of any of them, Prayer and Pre-marriage Apprenticeships. They talk about the practical aspect of these methods and that there is not a one size fits all families method. They also emphasize that no method of itself is fool proof. They include case studies of real people that they know who handled things in different ways and what went wrong and what went right with each. I highly recommend this book.


At A Hen's Pace said...

Thanks so much for the recommendation! I've been looking for something like this too.

Judith said...

I am glad you are reading DAting with Integrity. I want to share something with you that I am not sure you are aware of.

I want you to know that I have read Dating with Integrity by John Holzmann and it is the only book I would recommend on dating. I dont even like the word dating. I also would recommend Joshua harris book too actually both books: Dating and Joshua first one. For me both books validated each other especially after I heard two interviewer interview JOshua and even read one of the three interviews that said the same thing that Dating with Integrity did. The personal stories make them come from different views even though they validate each other. Dating with Integrity and JOshua Harris books validate each other. They same the same thing in a different way. They also say the same thing especially if you also read Boy meets Girl by Joshua and NOt Even a Hint which is the original title. I would not ever recommend another book on dating except by psychologist.

Joshua explains more in the interviews written and spoken about his books besides the other two books mention.

Tootle I highly recommend you read the other three books by Joshua -they really all go together. He clarifies in the second book what he couldn't do in the first.

I couldn't find a personal email address to contact you privately so this was the best I could do. I found your blog on the web.

Please email me your thoughts if you dont want to put anything on here.



Relationship said...

now i will buy i kissed dating goodbye book,i think ,this book help me.


beautiful girl said...

i have listened about i kissed dating goodbye,this is a nice book for youth.

Cameron Sharpe said...

I just happen to be passing by when I read your post. Nice post and keep up the good work!